Our little family has now grown to 7. Elijah, our 5th child, was born in February 2014. 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms is plenty, but we'd like more. We would like to have a house large enough for all of our kids to come back home with their families and plenty of room for our grandkids to come and stay (I'm counting on that as my reward for not killing these kids some days!).
So, we've been praying. We drew up house plans, we have talked to a builder, we've pinned hundreds of ideas. Then there was a house in our town, just a stones throw out of the city limits actually, came available for sale. It was foreclosed on, so the bank owns it. It has everything we need. 5 kid rooms, school room, play rooms, beautiful yard, lots of closets. . . it's perfect. Well, the 90s counter tops and brass fixtures everywhere aren't so perfect, but that's an easy fix. We've been through a process - making an offer, countering, etc. all while praying that God would guide our steps.
Well meaning folks have prayed for us and encouraged us and oooohed and ahhhhed over how perfect it is for us. I've asked God boldly for Him to let us have this house.
Today, we learned that the door is shut. Prices were just more than we were willing to pay for a 20 year old house that needs some work. He answered our prayer. He said no. I've confessed to God and to Joel that I really, really wanted this house. I've mentally decorated and filled the closets. I've set bird feeders in strategic locations, set up my sewing area, and planned my sitting area in the fabulous bay window in the master bedroom. I've reminded myself all along that God knows what I don't know. He sees things that I can't see. My prayer has been that wherever He puts us, it will be a place that will be used for His glory.
The door has been shut, but the story isn't over yet. I don't know the next chapter. I don't know what tomorrow will bring in this journey. I've cried and I've had my pity party. Then I mowed the grass and sewed a gift for someone. I've thought about the things in our dream of houses that this one wouldn't have allowed. Chickens. Horses. Goats. Sunflower patch.
Tonight I won't tell God how disappointed I am. I'll tell Him thank you. I'll thank Him for loving me when I'm unlovable (when I'm stomping my feet and whining about not getting my way). I'll thank him for this room over our heads. I'll thank Him for blessings that He gives me everyday so that I take them for granted - healthy children, godly husband, friends, food in abundance. . . and I'll ask Him to continue to direct my paths.